I've been putting off writing this blog for at least three days. Hayden and I broke up. I would have been blogging about it (the cause) for at least a few weeks, but in the off chance he stumbled across this blog and read everything I'd written...I didn't want to take the chance. So as of Friday afternoon, Haylia is no more. I've been getting "I'm so sorry!"s and "I thought you guys would last forever!"s but honestly, I'm tired of it. I'm not sorry and neither should you. The last nine months have been incredible (for the most part) and I don't regret any second of it. I'm not sorry for all of the times we talked at my locker, or the midnight phone calls, or the awkward silences we shared over IM. I'm not sorry for the fact we broke up. It was for the best (I really do believe that) and it was the only way we could at least salvage a friendship. Don't tell me you're sorry, because I'm not and you shouldn't be either.

It was mutual, despite what some people have said. Hayden did bring it up, yes, but I had already thought of breaking up with him before. I saw it coming. I knew from the moment he started the sentence. I knew what was going to happen, and I didn't object. Our friendship is more important than desperately trying to stay together for three or so more months. Don't tell me you "know what I'm going through" because you don't. There are three or four people at school that know what I'm going through (if that many). Don't tell me your two-week relationship is the equivalent of nine months...because it's not. I've changed more over the last nine and a half months than I have over the previous two years. And most of it is because of Hayden. He was everything to me and I doubt that your two-week "I love you"s meant the same as ours. I'm still getting used to the fact we're not together. It might take me a little longer, but I'm getting there. And don't tell me you're sorry.